Eliciting values - the questions
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Partial Estonian translation
Here's a sample list of questions to use to elicit her values and trance words. NYC, ASF:
- What she wants?
- What she likes?
- What she thinks she needs?
- What she thinks she deserves?
- What she had in the past that she wants to repeat?
- What she had in the past that she wants to avoid?
- What scares her?
- What makes her happy?
- What makes her feel sexy?
Ask the right questions, don't try to push her towards some specific state (like excitement for example), it might mean nothing to her. ASF: "Realise that "do you value excitement in your life?" is a useless question compared to "what do you value?"
Here are some additional questions you can ask, that might be a little less value-eliciting oriented, but helpful nevertheless. They'll help you to get to know to her and should also put her in an altered state by making her dig up answers for these from deep within her consciousness and subconscious.
- "What are the challenges in her line of work / what are the easy parts / what she likes / what she doesn't like about her job?"
- "What is the most unusual thing you've done when playing "truth or dare"?" Hopefully she comes up with some sexual stuff:)
- "How do your friends describe you?" Use this both for value-eliciting and as prep info for palm-reading, after which you can say "Let me see, whether you actually are like that as well" and transition to palm-reading. See "Palm-reading" and "Palm-reading explained" for more details.
- "What do you think I am like?" You'll get useful feedback on how you're doing and how she perceives you:)
- "Your first childhood memory?" If its positive, anchor it, and even if its just neutral, never mind that, in her mind she sees herself as opening up to you when telling you about such stuff:)
- "Your most pleasant / sweetest memory from school?" Hopefully has something to do with a guy, anchor it:) If not, be more specific.
- "Your first day at school?" Same as with "first childhood memory", but don't use it before the "sweetest memory from school" - it would make it too easy for her to answer "well, my first day at school was it" and avoid any possible romantic memories:)
- "In what period of your life where you most popular?" Have her remember the "good times":)
- "Do you remember the first time you fell seriously, completely and helplessly in love:) How did it happen?"
- "The happiest moment of your life?"
- "What role would you like to play in some movie?"
- "Achieving what goals in your life have brought you the most joy?"
- "How well do you know yourself?"
If the answer to some question is not to your liking ("what scares you?" "mice"), elaborate on what you meant with your questions. And if there's anything you don't understand in her answer completely, specify and ask additional questions. Don't THINK you understand, be SURE you understand because that is the only way of:
1) making her feel completely understood by you
2) and completely understanding her - which is what you need in order to know how to make her feel the way she wants to feel with that special man of hers:)
Update
Don't forget though, that you have to be able to introduce these questions as a natural component and continuation of your conversation with the girl. Simply asking them out of the blue will make it sound like you're interrogating her or that you've prepared and rehearsed them beforehand (insincerity!) and once that happens, you're through.
Update
NYC, ASF: "You can tell when a chick is affected by kino OR talking/thinking about
something. The subjects that she doesn't react to and the kino that she
doesn't react to... don't bother with them. When you latch onto something that
really phases her in the direction you want her to go, take her deeper into it
by asking her more intricate questions about it that she HAS TO meta-state into
the situation to access. She will have to LIVE in that moment again for a
period of time. While she is in there you can make it worse for her by
introducing worse scenarios than the actual outcome, or better by suggesting
better outcomes or results from it.
So don't bother with the sections where they don't feel anything, but
when you see them become affected, get into it as far as they'll let you. If
you have done your connection and rapport, they will be GLAD to tell you that
stuff and glad that you are listening to them."
Update
DC_GUY, ASF:
Me: Do you like living here in [whatever-the-place-is-called]?
Her: Ya, I guess.
Me: **Playfully** What do you like to do for fun? Do you have a lot of guys chasing you?
Her: No, not really... I'm kind of picky.
Me: Really? I mean, I don't mean to sound strange or anything... but what qualities do you look for in a guy?
***This is where you shut up and listen***
See also:
Eliciting values explained
Eliciting values - introducing the questions
Eliciting values - the answers
The questions game
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